Perception

Life is like a building, ours experience is the bricks. When we growing up, we experience more.   The more we gain, the higher the buidling we can build, thats mean we can get to a higher position and have a better view.  In other words, experience help us to make a wiser decision.  The decision will reflect the maturity of a person, therefore, can we conclude that a person with more experience is more mature?

I dont think so.

To be continued...

Rational and Emotional

I have been very emotional for past couple of months, its a hard time for me.  I feel so lifeless.

I can't sleep, can't eat, i even can't laugh.

Pity me.

However, all that have passed.  I feel so sorry that I need to learn it and went through it by a hard way.  I need to tear you out from me part by part and piece by piece.  Although it was painful, really heart broken, but, in a way, i have made it.

When there's a day where I saw you with another him, and I feel greatful for you, I know,  I have make it. 

And I know, the day is not far from now. 

Deep from heart, I wish you happy and cheerful, you have a very nice dimple, don't waste it.

Did you miss me?

Ya, this question keep appearing in my head, I really hope that you do.

Its very easy for a boy to voice out the decision to his girl; but this is not the case for girl.
Girl will think very much of it, take into concern many factors, including how will the boy react once she have made the decision.
Therefore, when a girl have firmly made her choice, boys are seldom able to hold her heart again.

You have taken your time to make this decision, its hard for you, i know, because you love me, but the love have changed and become a burden for you, you have been very tired along the way.

You hold your steps back to wait for my improvement, but i dissapointed you, again and again.

I wish we can be back together, but not now, because i know that the problem will remain unsolved - I still unable to give what you need the most.  Next time perharps, next time i will be the right one instead of the perfect one for you.  My shoulder and warmest hug will be prepared for you instead of I need you shoulder again.

Time factor is the major concern, its really need time to build up and maintain the relationship.  When you are ready, please do not forget the ring.

Before my F8 and F9 examination

Now, i am start counting down for my examination, less than two hour to enter the exam hall.

It has been a month since our heart broken.
I miss you every single day.  I wish i can look for you, sms you, chat with you, but I know that i have to stop disturbing you.
I have told myself, you have made your choice, you shall release this burden (me), and go fly higher and further to seek for your happiness, while I will armored myself and go to chase for you.  Its tiring and not fair for you to wait for me...again.

Is my immature that lead to your decision, is my fault for two of us suffering.
I realise that you have given me so much, until I become greedy and asking for more, at the same time, i have stopped giving what you needed..."an quan gan"

Before this, i thought you are a part of my life, actually not, You are my life. 

I need to start moving on, i believed that you had. 

To be with you for the rest of my life, was my dream.
To be with you, will be my dream.

I will minimize you to be part of my heart, keep it deep inside, i will keep missing you until my heart stop "pumping". 

Just keep it aside.

Making decision

When facing the junction in your life, we need to decide our path wisely.  We don't have the experience, therefore we always need some help form senior and elderly, we need their wisdom.  We afraid of making mistake, doubtful of our own choice, we need the motivation from our friends and family.

Undennialable, the decision i made in past lead to who am i now. 

When making a decision, we not only required logical analyses skill, the COURAGE that we have is more important.  As once we have made up our mind, we have to kick-start!

COURAGE is  built up from past experience, we will be braver by passing every single challenge that we faced, no matter we have won or lost 'battle", happy or sad with the ending.  It was just a life experience.

However, if we keep making mistake and always is the loser, we will lost our faith, our trust to ourself and even our COURAGE.  When there is no motivation, encouragement from who we care, its hard for us to continue with the life journey.

The person who we care is always more influencial compared to the person who care for us, all is depends the way we think, our emotion and our instinct.

As in investment language : High risks high return.  But for me, Great COURAGE  in the correct path can lead to be Alexander the GREAT!

I required more courage when facing you, i'm afraid of making mistake, i'm afraid of did anything wrong.
I deeply hope that: One day, i will get the true-heart appreciation from you, appreciate my effort, appreciate my decision, appreciate me.

A mistake?

I just hope to receive a message with positive reply...  But... haiz...

You know that was just a excuse, you know that I wouldn't mind travelling for you, or you do not even know that.

Maybe is my MISTAKE to say a "no", i shall say "YES" instead, as usual...

I guess in your mind: Since he say no, then nevermind, no need to force him...

Another mistake again, or is this a mistake? Or she will be better to mingle with her friends without me?

remain UNKNOWN

A better man

We always said that :" a good friend will always remind you your mistake, or even scold you for that kind of mistake."

However, never a single person (except for parents and superior) remind me about my mistake, my weakness, is that proven that i don't have a good friend?

I think so, whenever i have something to share, the first person i always think of is she.

I think i am just a terrible friend.  I wish i can be a he for she, but, it didn't work out as i wish.

I want to be a better man for she, but i always make mistake, the mistake that i do not even know what is it...  Maybe in her perception that i am that kind of sturborn people, wouldn't listen to any advice.  I think so, that's why i always repeat my mistake, because, i do not know what is my problem!  I admit i might not like it, but that's a normal reaction right?  But at least i know that i will try to correct it later.  And you just said that this is who i am, you shouldn't change me.  Then you just want to face a person that you dont't like, both of us will suffering, i think.

Its been a few years, we both know each other very well, maybe is hard for you to accept me, my attitude, my way of doing job, my way of thinking.  Its not changing the matter, but tolerate, at least we give a ear to each other, just listen......

That's all my guessing, too many uncertainty, i just love who you are, love what you like, and so desperate to be the he for you.  Sometimes, i think i just trying too hard.

26 June 2012 Award Presentation @ KPMG

I just want to share my happyness to person around me and the peoples i love, but i find it so difficult, it was a hard time for me at end of the day, however, i still have you, my bolg.

Dear blog,

I have went to 2 award presentation event within this couple of months, the first was LLCI Malaysia Award Presentation Ceremony and the second was EU Institute Graduation Dinner.

I have been expected the above event since i aimed to achieve the top scorer in LCCI examination.  God bless me, i won the Gold Medallion in Malaysia and the Silver Medallion in World.

However, i never expect that i will have another chance of being recognize, especially in my workplace - KPMG.  It was such a honour for me. 

At the presentation day, i was so nervous !!  Our Head of Tax and Staff Partner attended the little ceremony, and i have got a small token from the Firm.  I feel so happy, despite that i have went for two similar ceremony previosly.  I FEEL SO PROUD OF IT.

Moreover, i get invited my our Head of Tax to have lunch with him, and also invited included my department's Manager, Associate Director and Director.  WOW, i feel so WOW and speechless. 

We had a great lunch and got a lot of advise from r Khoo and Ms Teh.  I promised to myself that i will keep up my work and enhance my capabilities in the future!

i love you, my blog.

24 June 2012 A happy FAMILY DAY.

A happy FAMILY DAY.

We went  to Bt 14, Puchong to have our breakfast, my brother's favourite, BAK KUT TEH.  Haha, its not bad.

Actually we went Bt 14 because i knew there was a blood donation campaign going on.  After our, breakfast, me and brother went for the campaign that held in a primary school, SJK (C) Han Ming.  Mum and sis went for "shopping" at the air-condless HERO.

This is the second time I went for blood donation.  I feel so excited about it, even after i have done with my donation.   HAHAHAHAHA

Later on, mum and sis came and met us at the school.  Both of us joined the FREE body check-up that too held at the same venue.  Mum need too take care of her body because result show she has very high cholestrol.  on the other side, i just need to FREQUENTLY go for SPORT activities to maintain my good body, hahaha.

One more highlight of the day, I bought a pair of new glassess for myself. :)